It is fair game if you judge someone who has an extremely negative trait. Imagine a person who is either a narcissist or a kleptomaniac or some kind of negativity black hole or even a vegan. I would also ostracize this kind of people and I would try to minimize my interactions with them.
However, I do not understand how humans can instantaneously judge someone based on one small aspect of their character. As a matter of fact, I have faced a lot of judgement when I first moved in Sweden for a fragment of my personality.
I received harsh comments on me being loud (still am), having questionable personal space boundaries (worked on that) and maintaining an impecable poker face when I was dropping my sarcasm bombs (humorous or not). I am Greek and that all those negative traits are desired behaviors in the country I am coming from, but apparently, I was considered a social weirdo according to the Swedish standards.
In my case, I was judged for all the Greek traits that I have shown plus the negative stereotypes that come with the label of being a Greek. It is no fun to be called financially insolvent, prone towards corruption and lazy in your face especially when you are not all of those things.
Do not get me wrong, I am no saint and I have my share of Achilles heel(s). I can be obsessive to the point of being paranoid about the things I strongly like or dislike. I am impatient and I am no afraid of being verbal about it. I am abrasive and cynical when I am cornered and I am temperamental and emotional.
However, I feel almost insulted when people do not allow me even to pull an effort in order for them to dislike me. It is no fun judging me without even having a peek in my dark side.
Look at all the reasons you have to hate me, and you selected to judge the Greek in me. (Venn diagrams are cool).
After living for a few years already in Sweden I have realized that the cultural characteristics belong to the most flexible and dynamic part of my personality. Can you guess why?
Well, those characteristics are dependent of the context and the people that I was hanging out with. 6 months in a new environment and a person can quickly conform with the local habits and “right” behaviors. I have unlearned to be an annoying Greek to some degree. But I could not unlearn to be a scumbag.
So, black-balling a person because of their original culture or even external appearance is completely bananas.
My honest recommendation: Allow people to prove to you that they deserve to be judged. Allow them to pull an effort for you to hate them. Do not prematurely consider anyone a bad person. And, who knows, maybe they will prove to you that they are not actually that bad.Hate
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